So how can you get back on track? As I mentioned earlier, don’t panic. The worst possible thing to do is to become visibly flustered—the other party will sense this, and in an instant, you’ve sacrificed your power position. You may have already presented the other party with a concession, but there’s still time to salvage the deal by making it a cautious concession. A cautious concession:

• Demonstrates good will by letting the other party succeed in a certain area of the negotiation. Never surrender your power position, but allow the other party to shine to foster feelings of good will.

• Reduces the insecurity of the other party. In my past blog posts, I discussed how combat in a negotiation usually grows out of insecurity. By reducing his insecurity, you’ll also dramatically decrease the risk of combat threatening your negotiation.

• Leads the other party to let its guard down. When you eliminate combat and insecurity in a negotiation, everyone at the negotiating table is undoubtedly much more relaxed. Use this relaxation to your advantage and present a concession that considers the needs of the other party but also guarantees something for you and your delegates.

• Speeds up the negotiation process. This is the most important characteristic of the cautious concession, yet it is also the one that involves the most risk. A cautious concession speeds up the negotiation by giving into the other party’s demands—but not all of them! Choose your terms wisely and never, ever give away more than you’re getting.

Ultimately, the skillful negotiator knows just how much a concession of any kind can threaten a deal. And realize that there are times in a negotiation where a concession is completely unavoidable, but during those times it’s important to remember to make it a cautious concession. It shows personal strength to be able to concede to having made mistakes in a negotiation, but it shows real skill to be able to recover from these mistakes.

 Do you have any personal experience during which a cautious concession turned your negotiation around? Please feel free to share your own experiences in the comments section.

This post is excerpted from Keld Jensen’s upcoming book Power Bargaining: Adding Value to Commercial Negotiations to be published in 2012.

In our blog last week, we discussed how to cope with combativeness in a negotiation. While most negotiators are aware of how quickly combat can threaten the success of a deal, few are aware of how concessions, the opposite of combat, can just as quickly ruin a negotiation. In order to be a truly skillful negotiator, it’s important to recognize the value of compromise. Choose your battles wisely– you will be amazed by how smoothly a negotiation progresses when both parties are willing push combativeness aside for compromise.

A key component of compromise is concession. Before you begin any negotiation, it’s important to identify which components of the deal are non-negotiable, and which components you are willing to compromise on. While this step admittedly creates additional work for you, it will prove to be invaluable in the grand scheme of the negotiation. What happens if you choose to skip this step and plunge headfirst into a deal? You’re putting yourself (and your delegates) at risk. Lack of preparedness in a negotiation leads many negotiators to commit one of the cardinal negotiation sins: the unilateral concession.

Imagine that you are the main negotiator of a deal that has the potential to make your company a tremendous amount of money. In your eagerness to begin the negotiation, you fail to identify which parts of the negotiation are open to compromise and which parts are ironclad. In a meeting with a representative from the opposing delegation, the following dialogue occurs:

Buyer: I’m sorry, but we’ve ultimately decided that we can’t use you as our supplier. You’re just too expensive.

Above all else, keep calm and do not let yourself be provoked into hasty emotional reactions. If you feel like the pressure on you is getting to be more than you can handle, take a break. Forcing yourself to continue will only put you and your team at risk of falling directly into a trap. Before you choose a response, analyze the reason for the combative stance. Is it conscious or merely a subconscious defense reaction on the part of the other party? Are you overreacting to his choice of words or tone of voice? Are you frightened by his harsh demands?

Once you identify the reason behind the combat, you’re ready to choose your response:

1. Silence: First respond with silence. Don’t let your emotions govern your actions. Even if the other party is wrong, avoid confrontation. In this way, you can keep clear of the attack-and-defense spiral of gambits and countermoves that deteriorates negotiations and causes relations to fall apart over a very short period of time. Remember that the combative negotiator is powered by adrenaline. He will not listen to you until he has finished speaking.

2. Questions: Ask questions to test the other party and  make clear the dangers of continued combat. Break the pattern of one-way communication. If you can initiate two-way communication, you’re on your way back to productive negotiations.

3. Delay: If your silence or questions do not yield the desired result, you can delay the negotiation. Suggest scheduling another session and make it clear to the other party that you think it is counterproductive to continue negotiating at the moment. This is a method that lives up to one of my favorite adages: be mild in manner, but firm in substance.

4. Substitution: Sometimes two people just aren’t suited to work together. Switch negotiators if you suspect any personal conflicts or if you think the personal chemistry isn’t working you and the current delegate.

5. Naïveté: Pretend to be naive. Intentionally misunderstand, ask counter-questions, and ask for the other party to repeat all their arguments. Not only will you wear the other delegation down, but you might even get them to see their absurdities by having them reiterate their argument over and over again. Although this can be effective, I do not recommend that this be your first response to bullying tactics. Remember, I advocate trust – and honesty has a lot to do with that.

6. Combat: If your own position is strong and if you are able to pay the price, fight fire with fire. Be combative! A warning, though: this is only recommended after you have tried all other strategies and only if you do not want anything to do with him in the future. Combative negotiations may lead to a positive short-term outcome, but they don’t do much for long-term relations.

 Sometimes combative negotiations are simply unavoidable. If you find yourself in the middle of one, take a deep breath and remember that you have the skills needed to come out on top. Every negotiator is different—what works for your delegates may not be your preferred course of action, and that’s okay. The key to your success lies in remembering that, unlike your combatant, you do not need to rely on harsh words or underhanded tactics to succeed. Use your knowledge of combative characteristics and techniques to counteract combat and you will undoubtedly have the upper hand in any negotiation.

Have you personally dealt with a combative negotiator? Did your tactics yield a positive result? Feel free to share your experience and how you handled it in the comments section.

This post is excerpted from Keld Jensen’s upcoming book Power Bargaining: Adding Value to Commercial Negotiations to be published in 2012.

In the first part of this blog series, I’ll show you how to identify combative behavior at the negotiating table. Next week I’ll conclude with tips on how to deal with these difficult types.

Novice negotiators might think that they can easily identify combative behavior at the negotiating table, but PowerBargainers know that combat is often cleverly disguised. It may present itself  through aggressive communication, threats, or a lack of interest in listening to the other party. Combat also occurs when the other party listens carefully but masks his true intentions to give the only the impression that he wants to understand. Before showing his true colors, this wily negotiator will have made sure that the other party has already revealed too much.

Don’t get caught in a combative negotiator’s trap. First, it’s essential to recognize that the combative negotiator intentionally aims to make you feel insecure and inferior – he knows that a stressed counterpart will more likely flee or give in. A typical combative negotiator makes expensive demands without verifying or explaining them. You might find yourself lacking important information, but nevertheless forced to make a decision because you are put under  pressure. The culmination of these factors may make you feel insecure in your power position. In addition to tough demands, his behavior likely leads you to view him as aggressive or manipulative, thus weakening the overall trust in the negotiation. Consequently, relations between you both deteriorate rapidly and the entire negotiation may be at risk.

Combative negotiators are really nothing more than bullies and their ruse can indeed fluster even the most skillful negotiators. Sometimes their tactics lead negotiators to see only two solutions: to cave in, or to get angry and end the negotiations after you’ve had enough of the games.

Next week you’ll read about how to counteract combative tactics, but in order to do that, you need to be able to recognize the symptoms:

• One-way communication: Numerous arguments, demands, and threats that are often difficult to verify are presented. Questions are met with silence and argumentation is based on orchestrated facts or lies. The mode of communication is usually aggressive and the messages are terse.

• Provocations: The combative negotiator uses arguments to provoke and stress out the other party. Personal attacks and disparaging remarks are frequently used.

• Hidden intentions: This is perhaps the combatant’s most lethal weapon. The intentions behind the negotiation are kept secret. The non-combatant is duped in order to gain trust, to obtain information, and to get him to lower his guard. The negotiator may initially be very pleasant; however, combatants are often wolves in sheep’s clothing.

 Have you seen these happen in your negotiations? Share your stories – and how you handled it – in the comments. Then, be sure to come back next week to learn some effective strategies to one-up combative negotiators.

 This post is excerpted from Keld Jensen’s upcoming book Power Bargaining: Adding Value to Commercial Negotiations to be published in 2012.

Inexperienced negotiators often make the mistake of engaging in “spurious compromise” wherein a negotiator will demand something that belongs to the other party, and later agree to relinquish a portion of that demand. In other words, spurious compromise tends to be unilateral; one side gives, the other takes. However, if you ask me, both parties are still losers. For one thing, trust among the negotiators disintegrates from all of the manipulation and bluffing that are almost always present in these kinds of talks. On top of that, in situations like this the parties sometimes avoid looking for new solutions or alternatives entirely and instead deadlock negotiations. They might even postpone their talks without ever addressing what each hopes to gain. In the worst cases, stubbornness will stop negotiations all together. This is when you know that power-positioning has infected your negotiation.

How can you avoid falling into the trap of spurious compromise? Counteract it with a genuine compromise, of course! Mastering the art of genuine compromise will not only give you control of the dealing– it will also give you the upper hand. Remember these simple tips and you’ll be well on your way to Power Bargaining^TM:

• Establish a friendly negotiation climate free of threats or the harsh attitude to which we’ve become accustomed.

• Create two-way communication by listening and asking and answering questions.

• Chart not just your needs, but also those of your opponent. You’ll avoid fighting simply by understanding what everyone’s looking to take away from the talks.

 As you can see, compromise can truly be your secret weapon, just be sure not to unleash it for the wrong reasons.  For instance, if you find yourself in a position of inferiority or if the negotiation has been infected by power-positioning, trying to compromise may only worsen the situation. Compromise only works when both parties play on a level field.

If you start to see the power shifting to one side of the table – perhaps you notice the other party isn’t pursuing a constructive course or you’re kept in the dark about the other party’s requirements – you are facing a compromise negotiation, which, in many respects, looks like combat. Don’t panic—use your knowledge of how a genuine compromise is structured as your defense. If you want the other party to abandon his demands, you can try to say yes, but as a skilled negotiator you know that the most effective method is to offer alternatives. Try to accommodate the other party on the points where compromise is possible, but always demand something in return. This is Power Bargaining^TM – mild in manner, firm in substance.

This post is excerpted from Keld Jensen’s upcoming book Power Bargaining: Adding Value to Commercial Negotiations to be published in 2012.

Of course, like any business maneuver, delay tactics are not without risk.  It is necessary to consider that your competitor might read a sudden absence of communication or change of plans as being combative. This is especially harmful if the negotiation has already proven to be choppy . Indeed, the effects may turn out to be the opposite of what you’ve intended. Instead of buying yourself more time, you may end up under even more pressure. Worse, the other party, feeling neglected, may simply decide to withdraw his offer.

But remember, even if you decide to avoid stalling as a tactic, it doesn’t mean your opponent won’t, so it is important to be able to recognize it when  it’s happening to you. For example, if the other asks you to look at further documentation when all of the necessary information to begin negotiation is already present, there’s a good chance he’s up to something.

Similarly, if the person you’re dealing with suddenly decides that he’s not qualified to negotiate, and that his boss is out of town for the week, you’ve probably got a “staller” on your hands. Also, always be on the lookout for the same questions or ideas being recycled over and over again.

The best way to deal with this is to give the other guy a taste of his own medicine—don’t be the first to give in. Take the little vacation your fellow negotiator gave you and use it to your advantage. Do some extra-credit work to be sure you’re doubly-prepared when he finally decides he’s ready to talk.

Of course, the ideal option would be to circumvent the situation all together by setting  timetables and deadlines at the outset of the negotiation. Make sure the other party understands right off the bat what is expected of him as far as scheduling is concerned.

 You should also be aware that some people stall not as a ploy, but as a defense mechanism. If a negotiator doesn’t seem to want to make up his mind, or uses overly-formal language, or brings up obscure procedural issues , it’s best not to waste your energy on trying to psyche him out. Scale things back, take it slow. Gently remind him of your terms and other matters you’ve discussed. Take time out to start things over, checking with the other party every step of the way.

 This post is excerpted from Keld Jensen’s upcoming book Power Bargaining: Adding Value to Commercial Negotiations to be published early 2012.

It always helps to write down what you’re thinking, and this case is no different: if you and your colleagues conceptualize and write your own code of behavior, it will be easier to stand by your word and see any negotiation, no matter how challenging, through to a productive – and honest – end.

At the MarketWatch Center for Negotiation Conduct, we have developed a Negotiation Code of Conduct that can help you and your business partners establish rules of behavior to guide you through even the most challenging situations. This code includes statements of what we will and will not do, under all circumstances, in order to preserve the honesty and integrity of the negotiation. Use our list as a basis for your own Code of Conduct, share it with your business partners, and reflect back on it when the stress levels rise:

We will not:

•           We will not lie / bluff

•           We will not intentionally put any pressure on counterparty,

             including time pressure

•           We will not make inflated offers

•           We will not  practice emotional manipulation

•           We will not employ aggressive and hostile negotiation strategies and tactics

•           We will not be holding back information

 We will:

•           We will put our best efforts to keep the trust level in negotiation as high as possible

•           We will restrain from spying, bribing and infiltration attempts

•           We will walk as we talk and will fully observe our agreement, if concluded

•           We will be open about variables and values and share the information

            on an equal level

•           We will try to observe fairness and even sharing of gain added value

We believe:

•           We believe that working together outperforms winning at the expense of the counterpart

•           We do believe in power of ethics and morality in negotiation

 At the end of the day, openly adhering to a common set of moral and ethical guidelines buoys company morale while assuring your business partners that you’re a fair-dealer. Encourage those both inside and outside your company to enforce your own Code of Conduct, and emphasize its importance during even the toughest of deals.

 The process that governs the negotiation between two people from different cultures is not terribly different from the process that governs negotiations internally in the United States. Within the given negotiation room and the common framework, you must find a satisfactory solution that meets both your material and psychological needs. In order to successfully negotiate with delegates from other cultures, you must stay focused on the task at hand and:

 ●      Be aware that you are the foreigner.

●      Be wary of generalization.

●      Be mindful of your attire.

●      Be aware of the cultural relationship between men and women.

●      Increase your understanding of foreign cultures.

While the first step may seem terribly obvious, sometimes even the most skillful negotiators overlook it. Keep in mind that when you are negotiating in another country, the delegates from the foreign country are not foreign at all—you are. Thus, it is essential to abandon any preconceived notions and to be open to the culture’s customs, however unfamiliar they may be.

 The skillful foreign negotiator never makes generalizations. What is true for one segment of a foreign population may not necessarily be true for all of the population.  Be open and curious vis-à-vis alien cultures and never make do with simply learning a few facts and applying them to an entire population. Ask around among your business contacts, hotel staff, and other foreign visitors if you need clarification about a particular foreign tradition or custom.

 As any successful negotiator is aware, your attire sends a message to your colleagues. As a result, it is of the utmost importance to be aware of the message your clothes are sending, and to choose them accordingly. However, when you are negotiating in a foreign country, sometimes the same standards of dress do not apply. If you want the other party to listen to you and try to understand your message, you must behave in a manner that inspires confidence. If you depart from the acceptable dress code, you run the risk of having the other party misunderstand your message. Be sure to investigate a country’s business dress code before your arrival, and pack accordingly. One of the most foolish ways to threaten the success of a negotiation is to dress improperly or in a way that may insult the other party.

 A key component of any negotiation is the successful interaction between the two parties. Personal chemistry and good conversation are two tools that are instrumental in governing successful deals. Despite this, it is essential to keep in mind that not all cultures operate under the same social norms. Interactions between males and females in the United States are radically different from those in other countries. In some cultures, it is considered an infringement of social etiquette to shake a woman’s hand, appoint her the head of your negotiation delegation, or invite her (without her husband) to a restaurant to discuss business. It is essential to familiarize yourself with such customs before beginning the negotiation, so as to avoid offending the other party and jeopardizing the deal.

 Finally, in order to be a truly successful foreign negotiator, you must increase your understanding of foreign cultures. In order to better understand a foreign culture and to become aware of your own prejudices, you should read everything you come across that pertains to the foreign country you’re about to visit. Books are an extremely useful resource—read everything from slender pamphlets to extensive tomes. You can also read fiction describing foreign cultures. Peruse some newspapers and weeklies, or read their trade journals. Familiarizing yourself with the country’s customs before you depart allows you to focus all of your time and attention on the negotiation when you arrive.

 Ultimately, it is inevitable that you will run into minor difficulties while negotiating abroad—after all, conflict is part of the negotiation process. However, if you familiarize yourself with the aforementioned steps and make an honest attempt to learn about the other culture, you will be able to eliminate time wasted acclimating yourself with the country’s customs, and instead be able to let your negotiation skills shine.

 This post is excerpted from Keld Jensen’s upcoming book Power Bargaining: Adding Value to Commercial Negotiations to be published mid 2011.

1. Find the Purpose of the Message

Before you even begin to negotiate, pause and consider the results that you wish to achieve from the negotiation. Do you wish to influence the other party and change his attitudes, assessments, and needs, or do you wish to provide information and background knowledge to keep the other party informed? Do you wish to explain something? Do you want to create awareness of something? Do you want information from the other party? Keep in mind that your primary purpose is to catch the attention of the other party. Finding the purpose of your message before you begin to negotiate will allow you to capture the interest of the other party immediately and help you to avoid rambling.

2. Outline Your Message

Once you have found the purpose of your message, you must next consider how to effectively convey the message. What do you need to say to accomplish your purpose? Set up a number of columns, an agenda, or headings under which you write the information that belongs in different blocks. Sort out the blocks in the appropriate sequence. The sequence will be governed by the strategy or structure you think the negotiation should take. Once you’ve established a sequence, then you may prioritize. Ask yourself what should be first, second, third, and so on. Logical links running through your presentation allow the other party to follow your thoughts.

3. Limit the Flow of Information

Remember to keep your message simple and concise. The other party can only make use of three or four facts at a time. Expressing oneself in simple terms and being brief but still intelligible is difficult for many people. They speak a lot and know a great deal about the subject, but no one understands what they say, because the information is bogged down by too many facts and complex words.

4. What Does the Other Party Want to Hear?

While it is important to focus on getting your message across, do not forget that negotiation is a two-way street. Be customer-oriented in your presentation. The other party is most receptive to new information that is in keeping with his needs and solves his problems. Put yourself in the other party’s place. What questions might he have?

5.  Activate Several Senses

You occupy a greater share of the attention of the audience if you transmit on several channels at the same time. However powerful your speech may be, we can only listen to information for so long before we grow restless or disinterested. We as humans are better at remembering visual impressions. An extensive and complex message will be more easily received if words and images are combined. How often do you make use of images in your negotiations? If there is no blackboard or whiteboard, you can always use paper and pen. Virtually everything can be expressed and summarized in images: columns of figures, pie charts, timetables, graphics, and so on. By appealing to the other party’s sense of sight, you activate information and experiences stored deep in their long-term memory.

6.  Physical or Intellectual Demonstrations

You should also appeal to your opponent’s other senses in your presentation. A product is demonstrated physically by having the other party try it out. But how do you demonstrate an idea? In an intellectual demonstration you describe the principle by means of an example that is as down-to-earth and simple as possible. When people listen to you, they must be able to see the chain of events. When you have presented the proposal and have caused him to understand the principles, you ask questions like: What happens if you switch to…? In doing so, you force people to grasp your proposal and think about it. You get feedback as to whether they have caught the message, and a reaction concerning their assessment of it.

Ultimately, there is no way to accurately predict the outcome of a negotiation before it even begins. However, you can most certainly increase your chances of a favorable outcome by developing your message. By increasing your communication efficiency, you are giving your team an advantage and ensuring that your message will be conveyed in the most concise and accurate manner.

 This post is excerpted from Keld Jensen’s upcoming book Power Bargaining: Adding Value to Commercial Negotiations to be published mid 2011.